Here goes. I sometimes wonder why I can’t be satisfied with just who I am or rather who I have become. Never mind who I wanted to be or what I wanted to achieve. Those were all dreams, wonderful, delightful but still, dreams. Life’s harsh realities should be enough to open my eyes, to make me realise that there is no place in my life for these frivolous things. Calm, uncomplicated and simple; or should I say predictable and mundane, closed to change, that would suit me just fine. I would be ‘plodding along’; plain sailing. Do I want that? If given a chance wouldn’t every single one of us wish to be remembered, recognized, long after we were gone? As humans is it not in our very nature to refuse to just exist for the sake of existing?
While writing my novel, “Surviving Love!” I got so emotionally attached to my characters, especially Nadia, that I felt like I was living in a parallel universe. I found myself thinking like her, what she would do, what she would say, how she would react, and since her character is quite a contrast to mine, those around me started to give me the look which said it all, “Is she finally losing it?”
Writing is quite an alienating experience, in the sense that sometimes its hard to switch off completely. You find yourself thinking about the characters as though they are right in front of you, they talk to you, even force you to change the plot that made perfect sense when you started writing and yet now somehow seems preposterous.
When the epilogue is written and your work is done, the sense of achievement is there but it is accompanied by sadness that this friendship between you and your characters has come to an end. You must now move on and let another set of characters inhabit your mind. That’s what being a writer is all about I guess…